The source of my social anxiety fatigue as an introvert is probably not uncommon: I’m an emotional intuitive (an empath).

I don’t always act upon my empathy—that requires consciously and intentionally processing what I pick-up and interacting in return with loving kindness. I act on it more now than I did before I entered recovery. Sobriety has made me a more of a giver, but I used to be more a taker.

Social interactions drain me of energy whether I ‘act empathetic’ or not. My emotional receptors are always turned on, and they’re always on their most sensitive setting. (Alcohol and drugs used to dampen them.)

Of course, ever since I became a giver, I attract takers like a magnet. Takers aren’t bad people–they are the same as givers but with the polarity reversed. It’s probably less like magnetism and more to do with emotional energy. It’s a law of emotional transactions—like Newton’s Second Law of Thermodynamics applied to social bodies. Energy flows within interpersonal dynamics, one gives and the other takes. A stable relationship balances out the back-and-forth.

Social media is especially unhealthy for me. Simply browsing friends’ pages can drain me of energy (they don’t even get direct benefit of it!). Empathy costs energy. There’s no return on my investment. I suppose if I were a taker, browsing social media would be like fuel for me, but I’m not.

In recovery, I am always happy to serve others—individuals, groups, my local community, at the extended circles of community at large.

Giving away my energy to others who are suffering and trying to recover does not drain me of energy; on the contrary, it energizes me and makes me feel more secure in my own sobriety! It is energy that flows through me when I act with compassion and loving-kindness. The energy of both me and the other increases. That energy must come from somewhere. And neither of us are its source.

So where does this surplus of energy come from?

A secular answer to this question could be that there is a quality of the space which we inhabit that, when we let it work upon us, allows us to do good things for others. By ‘space’ I mean not only what’s inside us but what we’re inside of. The universe. The greater good, or perhaps the greatest good. The capital-G “Good”.